It’s bad enough how bad our sex life usually feels. All these feelings are worsened by ‘knowing’ that we live in a liberated age, where others must be engaged in sexual relations with frequency, confidence, and joy. We, with our secret agony, must surely be the un-liberated oddities. In committed relationships, such self-flagellation can be worse. Because, isn’t modern love inseparable from frequent and fulfilling sex with a long-term partner? Shouldn’t every good marriage be enlivened by constant desire?